Brutally Honest Thoughts Of A Tired Dog Parent

I love my dogs more than the majority of people I’ve ever met, but they irritate me sometimes just like any other kind of kid. Before we adopted them, I was accustomed to having my life, my time and my money all to myself. I adore my pups, but I can’t help but have these types of thoughts on a regular basis.

1. Maybe if I’m very still and quiet, they won’t wake up and discover that I’m eating a sandwich without them. Damn it, here they come to stare at me with sad puppy eyes until I give up a bite. How can I say no to those eyes? This is emotional extortion. Fine, here’s a bite each. Happy now?

2. Their play fighting is really cute and usually entertaining, but sometimes I just don’t want to hear it (especially when I’m trying to actually hear my tv show and I’ve already cranked the volume up). Come on now, I need chill time and would prefer to keep my hearing. Will some peanut butter buy me even a small amount of peace? Done.

3. Speaking of play fighting, it gets out of hand sometimes and I worry that one of them is going to go flying across the room and destroy the TV and furniture. We don’t have money for vet bills and replacing more shit that got destroyed by their shenanigans. I cross my fingers every day that we manage to avoid this scenario long enough to run out the apartment lease and move to a house.

4. Maybe if I close the door really quickly, I’ll actually be able to pee without an audience. And go! Made it, door closed…and there’s the scratching. Please don’t destroy the door. Fine, I’ll open it. It was worth a shot.

5. It’s getting late and I’ve tried everything to get them to stop barking. They hate being separated, but desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s time for them to chill out in different rooms until they calm down. The barking finally stops, what a relief…until the damn neighbor pulls in two minutes later and slams a car door. All hell has broken loose again. This is going to require migraine medicine and oh so much wine. So. Much. Wine. FML.

6. Must you both follow us into the bedroom when we’re trying to have some private married couple time? Here, let me reintroduce you to every toy and bone you have in hopes that one will hold your interest (so I can go play with my favorite bone too 😜). Door closed, bye!

7. What is this quiet place? Did they really fall asleep finally? Yes! It’s time for Mom to have some free time to find her sanity. Aw, they look so cute when they’re sleeping. I better take pictures while they’re so still. Why was I upset again? They’re so cute.

Being a dog parent has its ups and downs, and it gets incredibly frustrating sometimes. At the end of the day, though, I always end up watching them sleep and just thinking about how lucky I am to be mom to these two adorable rescue pups. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

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