HGTV Does NOT Accurately Depict The Stress Of First-Time Homebuyers

I haven’t had as much time to blog lately because I’m up to my eyeballs in work projects and my husband and I are simultaneously navigating the torrential first-time home buyer process. It’s exciting for sure, but it feels like I have at least two full time jobs and we’re going to have to literally live on ramen for a few months to save the remaining bit of money we’ll need to actually close on a house and move. There are so many random fees on top of the down payment, especially here in NC. And those great “first-time homeowner” programs like USDA that offer 100% financing are a great big lie if you have student loan debt that affects your debt-to-income ratio. I swear, the next time I hear the words “debt to income,” I’m going to scream my head off. And don’t even get me started on trying to qualify for a mortgage if you’re self-employed and it’s been less than two years since bravely escaping corporate hell. Mortgage companies turn their noses up at self-employed people as if it was a crime to escape from the dreary monotonous infuriating pit of hell that is Corporate America. It’s a good thing I’m married to someone who still deals with the corporate bullshit for the both of us.

I’ve always been a big fan of HGTV, and they always make it look so happy and fun shopping for your first house. I guess they mostly work with people who have never struggled financially, got high-paying jobs straight out of college, and didn’t have to take out student loans because their college was completely paid for.

Without discussing a lot of details that aren’t completely worked out yet, we think we finally have a plan that will work, but it’s still far from easy, and I’m SUPER stressed. My insomnia is in full swing and I don’t know how I’m going to make it until June without sleeping while still functioning, working, and living on ramen and cheap box wine. By the time we close on a house and get moved, I imagine I’ll probably look like this:

So wish us luck folks! Or send a PayPal to help, we could use it about now! One way or another, we’re determined that we are not renting anymore beyond the end of this lease.

Also, if you’re a parent of a teen who expresses interest in going to college and you can’t afford to write a blank check for them, please ask them what they want to do with the degree before they take out a bunch of student loans and fuck up their chances of home ownership down the road.

What was your first home buying experience like? Did it make you want to rip your hair out and drink copiously? Or is that just me? Well, I always remind myself of exactly why I’m going through all this stress: for my family. Not just the hubby and I, but also our fur kids. They deserve better than being cooped up in a city apartment and being leashed whenever we go out. They deserve their own yard to run around in, free and happy like puppies should be. Look at these guys! I can’t wait until the day we let them loose in our new yard and see their joy.