Yes, Married People Are Less Available For Socializing And That’s OK

When I was single and had very few responsibilities to attend to, I spent a lot of time out with friends. I mean, why not go party when the other option was being home alone literally every single night?

It’s a common misconception that married people who suddenly transition into family life and have less time/money for the things they did when they were single are just crappy friends. I’m here to set the record straight on that, because I’ve been on both sides and I know how drastically life changes after marriage, even if it’s not obvious to the whole world.

My whirlwind of transition began in early 2016 when I began dating my now-husband after being just friends with him for months. We were off to the races after that, and he proposed to me just under a year later on Christmas Eve in my home city of Cleveland. This picture was taken the very day he proposed, earlier in the day when I had no idea what was coming.

Later that night, this happened. AHHHH!! Obviously I said yes! And I truly miss being able to afford banging manicures like that.

On September 30, 2017, this happened. ❤️❤️❤️

At various points throughout 2017, we adopted our dogs, Miles and Crackers, and our family was completed.

Let me be clear, I have the coolest little family ever, but now I have less free time and money than ever because it’s not all about me anymore. Our apartment is small and the dogs are rambunctious, so I don’t leave the house for long periods of time (because I don’t want my apartment to be destroyed or my husband to lose his mind dealing with them all the time on his own). We’re saving up to buy a house next year, so we’ve cut our expenses to the bone. No expensive dinners out, no movies in theaters unless it’s Star Wars, and no peer pressure-induced impulse buys are in the budget anymore because we have bigger goals we need to achieve with our money.

My entire life changed in under two years, and now I struggle to even find time to spend alone catching my breath, much less going out the way I used to. If I can budget for any small thing I want, it’s a win. I can’t remember the last time I even peed alone. I love my life, but these are all the reasons I just don’t have the energy or the money to go out anymore. I keep up with friends on social media but I’ll never be that infinitely available single girl again (at least I hope not). Sorry, not sorry. Here’s a good illustration of that; I couldn’t even write this blog post without several interruptions.

So give your married friends a break. It’s not that they don’t care; the fact is, their lives are different now and their devotion to their families is a good thing. None of the vows I recited in my wedding ceremony ended with “unless it’s happy hour.” In fact, I don’t need happy hour anymore because my entire life is happy.